Thursday, September 27, 2012

It's really the only way...

Unrequited love. That’s when you love without reciprocation.
Everyone has at least once in their lifetime loved unrequitedly. It may have been that time your eyes repeatedly met hers from across that crowded room. Just before she ran to her Scottish boyfriend, Douchebag McVaddaPhone.
Or it may have been when that dude who was being so nice to you asked for advice on how to talk to your best friend and they had to spend all day extracting your pirated copy of Twilight: Breaking Dawn from his colon. By the way, you have weird taste.

If you're still in doubt, there are some other crude tests. These include the “How did I end on this Facebook page AGAIN?” number; the “Whoops, that message wasn’t for you” index and roughly the number of times you’ve come close to doing borderline inappropriate things to your stuffed toy collection.

It’s also possible you feel like asking rhetorical questions. For example:

  • Conventional good looks is all it took? Are you blind to inner beauty or something?
  • I’ve sacrificed a head of cabbage. HOW MUCH MORE, God?
  • No seriously, do you know how much cabbage goes for?
  • Maybe she would’ve understood after the 28th missed call?

But then, I stand by the idea that all great love is unfulfilled. More so considering fulfilled love lends itself to circumstances like deciding who’s going to watch the kids and “What? Paneer? Again?”
So celebrate the very real possibility that you’ll die alone. 
Or that you'll adopt cats and later find yourself hiding in foliage with binoculars; madly hoping that allergy to pepper spray doesn't come into play.

In either case, know this: You may love without tangible cause and hope of fulfillment. But in doing so, you become a martyr. You rise to the idea that you’re inherently better than those who told themselves “it didn’t matter”. You allow yourself hope where others have plummeted to despair.

Make no mistake, you're fighting for a cause. One that is greater than the safety of satisfaction with the present. One that allows you belief in something that will make the world better. And how many people who don’t have bombs strapped to their chests/are Batman get to claim that?

So don’t give up.
And if you do, there’s always Twitter. I will personally retweet all your emo stuff.


  1. that cat thing was below the belt stuff,

    1. I'm more of a dog and illegal-so-they-have-to-be-smuggled-across-the-border soft toys person myself.
      Unfortunately, you can't make halfway decent gifs of those.

  2. This post makes so much sense at 1:05 am.

    1. I often read it again in the morning. This serves to
      a) Keep my narcissism unchecked and;
      b) Remind me that 1:05 AM is a fragile time. And screw those people of the opposite sex who refuse to objectify you therein.

  3. Unfortunately, the hopes of fulfilment have their own charms.

    1. And baubles often lose their value upon acquisition. But what the hell... Gotta catch em' all.