Gullible Jackasses…

We're a bunch of gullible jackasses; capable of unfailingly and unflinchingly believing anything at all. I could sit here all day giving you the logic behind such an alarmist line of thought; but that'd defeat the purpose.

So, here come the examples.

1. Feng Shui (Chinese for "overpaid carpenter")
   After years of intense analysis in focus groups comprising half of people with Feng shui approved homes and half of jungle dwelling cannibalistic populations, experts have concluded that:
   "The first group is generally happier, has a higher survival rate after divorce and does not contribute to the extinction of rhinos."
   Of course, your agreement will be more willing when you discover the ancient architect covenant about always incorporating Feng shui into restrooms everywhere. A little pressure on 'your end', and negative energies go bye bye.
   
   
2. If it's on TV…
   If you're on the wrong end of the 'Peepli live' spectrum (bloody brilliant movie btw), you're probably aware of the intense unyielding need to buy one each of a Nazar Suraksha Yantra®, a Shiv Shakti Kavach™ or a Shani Dev approved Doom-bhagao-wolfenstein-lao armour.
   I on the other hand am haughty enough to shake my head in disbelief that such commercials are made, let alone aired on a 24 hour marathon run when they just can't talk about "Naga baba mein ghusa bhoot". Bring back Naga Baba.
   Also, who in the history of FUCK dresses like that to cry in front of random relatives? Don't those females have work to do in the kitchen?
   
   
3. Cinema
   She's not that Savitri-type thingie. She may look like it with the adequate amount of makeup and the inadequate amount of saree, but she isn't. What she is, however, is a repository of sexually transmitted infection. Something you won't be getting off her. Not in a million years. Yes, I understand those may not be tears of happiness.
   Also, a revolver carries "6" bullets. We do not fuck with the law of conservation of mass-energy.
   
   
4. Don't look now…
   But you're too good for him/her. More so because he/she is probably cheating on you anyway. Possibly with the STD actress. And you're not getting any of that. Loser.
   You say your love is true? Read the title of the post. You're in the right place. And you're welcome. Send me interesting porn links.
   
   

There's just so much more to lampoon here. My only qualm is your Attention deficit disorder (compounded by my staunch refusal to use attractive images on this page). So I'm going to stop.
Jackass.